We seem to live in a time when labels are important for us to know ourselves. It is almost as if without a label put on us by an external authority, we lose our sense of who we are. It is certainly not unusual for me to speak with an adult who, within the first five minutes, explains they are ADHD, are dealing with a bipolar disorder, or some other designation. There is rarely a reference to their attributes as a human being, but great emphasis is placed upon how the diagnosis affects their lives.
So often in schools these days, a child requires a diagnosis, a label. This label becomes their identity, almost their name. When they are referred to, it is usually a name, followed by a label. When I was in elementary school, we had labels, as well. These were much more basic, words like “stupid,” “crybaby,” “much too active,” “four eyes,” and so on. We had rhymes, also. Rhymes like “A boy does not make passes at girls who wear glasses.” Now that I am older, I am dealing with labels like “retired,” “too old,” and “diabetic.” Oh, there are others. Yesterday I was sitting with a boy who had gone out of control, and he looked at me and said, “Get out of here, old lady.” I laughed as I answered, “Yes, you are right. I am old and I am a lady, so I guess you are right in referring to me as an ‘old lady.’ ” I was thinking, at least he didn’t say “fat, old lady” as others did in the past, when I was significantly heavier.
This exchange made me aware of how much we are affected by labels placed upon us and how these labels continue to affect us throughout our lives. And unfortunately, for many of us, it is the negative labels that stick. I was an intelligent child, and I often heard myself referred to as “bright.” It was more in the context of “what a shame it was” that I did not do anything with my intelligence and that my grades were so low. Or I heard what a shame it was that I was so bright, as it would diminish my chances of finding a mate. Fortunately, this attitude is far less prevalent today, and women are learning to stand in their own truth and be the powerful souls they are meant to be.
My thoughts return to the youngster who called me “old lady” and to his own labels. He is described as autistic and hyperactive. As I listened to his story, I was surprised these were his only labels. As a young child, he was kept quiet, along with his siblings, by being fed pot and cocaine. His mother abandoned him until the day she was contacted to take him in because he was being fed drugs. Since he comes with a label, he is a far more valuable commodity in the medicaid system and well worth having in her home. She receives extra money because he has a label. Meeting her, one realizes she is using drugs herself and most likely treated him to a nine-month bath of hallucinogens while pregnant. The labels are legitimate, but it has me wondering how he earned them. Most likely, his actions were a legitimate means of protecting himself against the world. His labels have made him monetarily valuable to those who keep him and offer a certain amount of protection against physical abuse.
When I see youngsters like this and read their stories, I wonder what would happen if the labels given to them were words like “a loving child who appreciates adult attention and who wants to be hugged.” What might happen if his mother received lessons on how to love her children, to see herself as a valuable human being who is doing the best she can to raise her children? I remember praising mothers who were startled to hear someone say the positive words, someone who said she understood that they were truly trying the best they knew to do. Their lives were hard. No one ever gave them love. They were beaten, labelled from an early age as failures who were destined to become young mothers and to live their lives on welfare.
What would happen if all people received decent housing (not a flea-bitten motel where five bodies are crammed into a tiny room) and a decent start to life, with plentiful food and shelter and clothing? Compare the price of decent housing against supplying motels, food stamps, prison, and other supplementals. Suppose housing, food, clothes, and medical care were considered a legitimate right of all people — not a subsidy after you acted out emotionally and physically in order to “gain” these items.
Just imagine a world where you did not have to be labelled to be valued. Imagine a world where all human beings were valued for who they were and who knew and loved themselves for who they were, who held a valuable and cherished place within human society. Imagine a human society where all life – all life – was cherished and not divided by labels, but united in the knowledge of Oneness — Oneness of all life, uniting us all. Just imagine.
You really hit the nail on the head!